Co-parenting with a narcissist can feel like navigating a maze where the walls are constantly shifting. One day, things seem calm, and the next, you’re bombarded with a barrage of calls and texts, all at the most inconvenient times. This pattern is one of the earliest red flags of narcissistic behavior—a complete lack of boundaries.
Imagine it’s a Sunday evening. You’ve already agreed on a schedule with your co-parent, and you’re finally relaxing, ready to enjoy a few hours of peace. But just as you settle in, your phone buzzes. It’s them. The first message is a trivial question about your child’s lunch plans for the next day. Before you can even respond, another text arrives—this one about weekend arrangements for two months down the road. Then comes a call, insisting that you pick up because it’s “urgent.”
You try to explain that these things can be discussed during your agreed-upon communication window. But the next day, it happens again—endless calls and texts, always at times when you’re either at work or trying to wind down. Over and over, your requests for space are ignored, and your need for boundaries is dismissed.
For a narcissist, your time doesn’t matter. What matters is that they have access to you on their terms. This disregard for boundaries is about control—keeping you off-balance and making sure their presence is always felt.
Why It’s Important to Recognize This Behavior
Recognizing when someone is deliberately crossing your communication boundaries can be eye-opening. It’s not just about dealing with annoying texts; it’s about regaining control of your time and emotional space. Setting firm boundaries, like requesting all communication be through email or limiting interactions to child-focused topics, can be liberating. Even though a narcissist may push back, it’s important to stand firm and enforce these limits for your well-being.
Learning to protect your boundaries is crucial when co-parenting with a narcissist. In time, you’ll realize that each step you take to safeguard your peace is a win for both you and your child.